Future Bachelor

Si & Veronica are having a long day for episode 240! We are back at two episodes a week for the penultimate week of Paradise. The mood on the beach is similar to ours with everyone still reeling after Rodney’s departure, making it especially hard for Mara to elbow her way into giving a date card out. The cougar claws come out between her and Florence, but Flo snags her baby man Justin back. Kate spends half of the first night shit talking Logan yet gets upset when he says she’s critical of him. Ency and Lindsey arrive to take some men on a double date but it ends up being just a date between Ency and Andrew after Logan has to turn Lindsey down by demand of Kate. Gabby and Rachel make an appearance on the beach to spill some tea and just bring their bitterness out on Logan. The dumbest fight in the history of fights breaks out between Genevieve and Aaron, but the ole “let me pack my bags” trick works in their favor to stay together. Becca and Thomas come down to the beach to invite everyone to a Sadie Hawkins dance that turns into a blow up of the Andrew, Ency, Jessenia love triangle with all three of them going home. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 28m:52s)

Sad news with some elder stars' deaths this past week with John Aniston and Keith Levene of the Clash, respectively. Jay Leno suffered some major burns from a gasoline accident with his cars. Pete Davidson might be adding another top tier hottie to his dating list with EmRata. The Sexiest Man Alive is off the market… and perhaps has been for a little over a year. Vee went “Yikes!” to Nikita Dragun being held in a men’s prison as a transwomen… and also “Yikes!” to her disrespectful behavior that landed her in handcuffs. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Give You What You Want" by Lil Tjay

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Si & Veronica are feeling a new look for episode 239! We were blessed with only one night of Bachelor in Paradise this week due to the Midterm elections and it was the week of making love triangles a thing. The show really tried to force the love triangle of Kate, Logan, and Kate’s love of Hayden’s money on us by showing us how she gave the same story to every single girl on the beach. But at least Logan’s “The Notebook” style makeout saved him. The real love triangle was between Eliza, Rodney, and Justin. Did production just do Eliza dirty to make her look sort of like the villain no matter what she chose with her rose? The beach all went wild for her choosing Rodney at the rose ceremony, but Eliza woke up still conflicted and ended up breaking his heart anyways. The interlude between the whole beach cheering for Rodney to crying for Rodney was a weird Wells third wheel date with Michael and Danielle. Nick Viall is blowing this BIP season’s load by showing Victoria Fuller kissing Greg Grippo on his most recent TikTok. Gabby is back in these streets after an official split from Erich. Jacob may have went home from the beach this week, but he was gifted a couch from Lyft after Jill mentioned him selling his couch and how he worked for Lyft in her exit interview. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 32m:12s)

RIP to Aaron Carter and we hope folks struggling with addiction find the help they need. Chris Evans has been named People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Kristin Cavallari, Stephen Colletti, and Lauren Conrad made our early 2000s dreams come true with a reunion on the “Back to the Beach” podcast this week. There was some drama surrounding a line on one of Drake and 21 Savage’s new song that might be referencing Megan Thee Stallion and her alleged assault by Tory Lanez. But Meg might get the last laugh because she is getting writing credit on “Rich Flex” from the album because of the interpolation of her song “Savage.” Vee went “Yikes!” to Nick Cannon expecting his TWELFTH child. The cringey bathtub pregnancy shoot didn’t help either. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Never Let You Go" by Jason Derulo, Shouse

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Si & Veronica are feeling our second wind for episode 238! And we are also wishing Si a happy 35th birthday! This week on the beach was a bit boring compared to the mess we have seen. The girls got the roses by default because Sarah had to go home for a family emergency. Victoria picks Johnny out of her triangle, but Alex gets the production pick by Florence. This is the week of the ladies testing the men to see how far they would go to pick them if they get picked for dates. Eliza tests Rodney and Kate tests Logan and both men let the girls go on their other dates, which the women aren’t happy with. Genevieve and Aaron show their dramatic hot and cold sides this week and Genevieve almost commits to going home. The twins make their arrival and Florence and Shanae are willing cougars. Bachelor Nation had a few big and small wedding this past week with Madi Prewett not having to wait any longer with her marriage to Grant Troutt, Astrid Loch and Kevin Wendt tying the knot, and Serena and Joe doing a quick wedding at City Hall. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 44m:34s)

Rest in peace to Takeoff. Truly gone too soon and so senselessly. Taylor Swift is breaking records again by taking all ten slots in the top 10 of the Billboard Top 100. It is also the first time no male artist has been in the top 10. Elon Musk has taken over Twitter and might be bringing back Vine and charging folks $8 to get verified. Vee went “Yikes!” to Elon in general and also to how it took until now for Taylor Swift to remove the fatphobic scale scene in her “Anti-Hero” music video. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "if you ask me to" by charli d'amelio

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Si & Veronica are angry at technology for episode 237! Split week continues and comes to a conclusion as well this week. Most of the girls are closed off to new connections but Brittany, Shanae, and Victoria are opening up. Kate is becoming the biggest pot stirrer after sliding in on Logan under Sarah’s nose. The redemption arc no one knew we needed happened with Shanae and Genevieve and now they are besties like two drunk girls in a bathroom. Once the girls get back to the beach, breakups explode (and some go quietly) and respect levels are tested. Will this be the messiest season on the beach? Has Shanae changed really or will her storm hit the beach hard? In other Bachelor Nation news, some engagements got super official for Dean and Caelynn and then Becca and Thomas who are now double engaged. We send our well wishes to Casey who is still dealing with injuries from his tumble in Paradise. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 38m:42s)

Rest in peace to Leslie Jordan and we send our condolences to his friends and family. Sophia Grace from viral Ellen Show fame is pregnant. Do you feel old yet? Taylor Swift is topping Drake’s streaming records with her new album “Midnights.” Are you a fan of all the easter eggs and how she dropped the different elements of the album? Rihanna is making her return to music this week with a single off the Black Panther soundtrack. Will new music follow? Vee went “Yikes!” to Travis Scott potentially having a side chick for most of his relationship with Kylie Jenner. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Overrated" by Blxst

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Si & Veronica are here for the drama for episode 236! It’s split week on the beach aka Bachelor Nation’s take on Casa Amor from Love Island. But before we even get there, we have what are possibly five men going home drop down to only two because Peter sends himself home after being confronted by the whole beach, Casey gets sent home in an ambulance, and Danielle comes down to save Michael A’s A-S-S. Michael and Danielle are on a deep, trauma-bonding date when Jesse breaks the news that Eliza, Kate, Jessenia, Sarah, and Florence are there to take the OG girls’ spots for a week. Even though they are sent to a nice resort with AC, the girls are pissed… and many are still pissed when Jesse brings in some eye candy. What relationships will last? What new ones will form? And is Rodney ready for the wrath of Lace? 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 38m:43s)

RIP to Robbie Coltrane and we send love to his family and friends. Sydney Sweeney will be starring in and producing a new Barbarella movie. Kaley Cuoco is pregnant with her first child. The photo that broke the internet this past week was of Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez reuniting at a gala. Happy to see the girlies on good terms even though any tension probably falls on JBiebs shoulders and his fanbase… Vee went “Yikes!” to Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde’s former nanny spilling potentially true tea about a special salad, the messy timeline of Harry and Olivia, and more! Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "California Breeze" by Lil Baby

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Si & Veronica are coming out as big ole losers for episode 235! This was the week of birthdays on the beach, with Justin sneaking a guilty kiss from Genevieve for his and Brandon getting the whole crew to sing for Serene for hers. Love triangles are forming with Shanae, Logan, and James, while Genevieve squashes hers to focus on Aaron. Jared and Ashley I. get tons of air time… literally with all of Ashley’s farts. Sierra self eliminates after Michael A. tells her he isn’t at the same spot she is at. Salley finally enters the beach to just immediately turn around when faced with her own lies. Pizza Peter comes down and gives us what we actually want, which is more screen time for Brittany. We get a strange Kira return for her to just convince Romeo to ditch the beach. Looks like next week is when stuff really gets switched up… Clare Crawley is engaged again just a month after hard launching her now fiance. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 45m:10s)

Happy coming out day to Velma of the Scooby Doo gang! She is into ladies, folks! Love Is Blind season 3 will be hitting our screens in a week and we can expect some more cowboy hats and boots as it will be set in Dallas. It’s coming… The OG three. Blink 182 original band members are back together to tour and release new music. Vee went “Yikes!” to Ye again.. But this time he can’t really come back as easily as he has been restricted on social media for antisemitism. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Loser" by Charlie Puth

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Si & Veronica are MacGyvering it together for episode 234. We are in the full swing of 4 hours of Bachelor in Paradise content that could definitely be shortened into just one episode. It is only 2-3 days in and people are already getting desperado. Romeo dug himself his own grave with dusty behavior. A love triangle is forming between Genevieve, Justin, and Aaron, after Genevieve spent most of the second day crying over Justin being on a date. Victoria is bringing her hotness out to play. Salley is being preceded by her suitcase and its vibrating contents. Is the reenactment by Wells and crew true? Teddi seemed to have got in her head too much and just left after “not feeling it enough” with Andrew. Or was there something more? Lots of baby news in Bachelor Nation with Vanessa Grimaldi welcoming her first child and Caila Quinn and Sarah Herron announcing their pregnancies. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 37m:35s)

RIP to Coolio. Tom Brady and Gisele seem to be heading to splitsville after sources say they have retained divorce lawyers. Lizzo was the first to play James Madison’s crystal flute and now his estate wants her to perform there. Paramore dropped their first single for their new album coming out next February. Trevor Noah is making all types of moves… some away from the Daily Show and some into Dua Lipa’s arms and lips. Vee went “Yikes!” to Ye’s “white lives matter” shirts and to Nick Cannon having his ninth and tenth kids just weeks apart. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Shades" by Tchami, Donnie Sloan, Ricky Ducati

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Si & Veronica are feeling sleepy and slap happy for episode 233! We are back on the beach with mostly the girls of Clayton’s season, the guys of the last four (4) bachelorettes, and a couple random old alums. And everyone is looking hot and ready to hit the Boom Boom Room. Will Shanae and Genevieve be enemies 2.0 or will Kira and Jill be the new two at battle? Serene and Brandon seem like a promising couple and so do Andrew and Teddi… or do they? Susie and Clayton broke up, which we saw coming from the miles away they moved from each other. Kelley Flanagan and Pilot Pete are flying high as a couple AGAIN. If you wanted a date with Tyler Cameron, you needed to be ready to cough up $15K because that’s how much he went for at the charity auction in honor of his mom. 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 37m:51s)

Rihanna is making her return to music as the halftime performer for the Super Bowl. Does that mean new music is on the way and/or some star studded guest acts in her set? Gigi Hadid and Leonardo Dicaprio keep confusing us with their cozy behavior but then reps saying they are close friends. Something must be in the air because celeb men continue to cheat on their amazing wives. Ime Udoka, coach of the Boston Celtics, was caught cheating on longtime partner and mother of his child, Nia Long. If that wasn’t enough “Yikes!” Vee also said it to YouTube famous Try Guy Ned Fulmer caught cheating on his wife with a Try Guys staffer! When he says “he loves his wife” as his brand… I guess he didn’t mean it. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• PATTERNS by Josie Dunne

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Si & Veronica are booked and busy for episode 232. ABC decided to torture us by dragging out this second part of the finale to 3 hours, which at least half an hour of that was commercials and promo reels during the Live show. The emphasis was on Rachel’s drama post-proposal as Tino and his baby back bitch self decided to cheat on her. We got to see them fight and break up not once BUT TWICE, with the second time being in front of a live studio audience. Aven swept in as Rachel’s knight in shining armor to take her away from the reaction cam for the rest of the night. Gabby’s ending was spoiled by us seeing her ring in the clip of her consoling Rachel. And they actively ignored Erich’s blackface in favor of having him go through how he didn’t break up with a situationship prior to the show in a great way. I can only hope Jesse was joking when he said that he’s happy to have a Bachelor that doesn’t look just like him because Zach, aka our new Bachelor, is not far off. And now we are going to be on the beach just next week. No rest for the wicked! 

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 30m:49s)

Netflix reality shows aren’t a great place for romance it seems. Tyler Stanaland from “Selling the OC” has split from his wife, Brittany Snow, and Deepti and Kyle from Love is Blind season 2 are donezo as well. Future is set to make in the high 8 figures for his music catalog. Meanwhile, Ye might not make money off of Yeezy licenses for a hot second… Vee went “Yikes!” to Adam Levine asking his “mistress” to use her name for his future child. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "I Don't Think That I Like Her" by Charlie Puth

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Si & Veronica are feeling run of the mill for this episode 231! Mexico is the place for breakups it seems with this episode starting with Zach dumping Rachel before she could dump him. He definitely got a good Bachelor edit though… Aven’s visit with Big Tony and the fam goes well until he says how engagement in a few days is kind of freaking him out. Erich is the only guy left for Gabby and Grandpa John can see him being endgame. But, he seems to be getting cold feet too. Tino knows he could’ve been roasted alive like his family did to Rachel, but instead he gets the Big Tony stamp of approval. Rachel is just after a ring and ends things with overly understanding Aven. Gabby has been announced that she will be on Dancing with the Stars, which might spoil her ending? Some of the fuckboys of the franchise made their rounds in the news with Nayte explaining his “dick move” on Viall Files and James McCoy Taylor getting arrested for drunk driving. Erich also looks like he will be answering to some blackface photos at After the Final Rose.

(Bachelor talk ends at time marker 37m:02s)

Queen Elizabeth II died this past week. The Emmys were a big night for Black women… and for Pete Davidson maybe making frequent trips to the bathroom. Will Leonardo Dicaprio break his age limit for 27-year-old Gigi Hadid or are they just friends? We seem to be entering an Elvis era because Jacob Elordi will be taking on the role as the singer in an upcoming A24 film based on Priscilla’s memoir. Vee went “Yikes!” to the sad state of the world with PnB Rock’s murder during a burglary this past week. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Outside" by Bryson Tiller

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