Future Bachelor

Si & Veronica are back from some weddings out west for episode 282! Charity is secure in the Dancing with the Stars line-up that also includes fellow reality stars Ariana Madix and Harry Jowsey. We are all a little horny for the new season of Bachelor in Paradise… or I guess we can’t wait to go bananas over their new twists. Folks think Tom Sandoval might be the Diver on the new season of Masked Singer based on some telling clues. Nick Viall doesn’t want his wedding to be full of age gap jokes like Joe and Serena’s was… 

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The VMAs were this week and a couple things are clear: Meg Thee Stallion and Justin Timberlake DID NOT get in a fight and Taylor Swift cleaned up as per usual. Some people were speculating that she might be celebrating those wins with rumored boo Travis Kelce, but there is no Super Bowl love to be found between the two. Captain America is officially off the market! Chris Evans and Alba Baptista got married in Massachusetts this past weekend. The Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner divorce saga continues with their joint statement and following actions not exactly matching up. Grimes and Elon Musk reveal they had a third child together within the last year named Techno Machinus. Vee went “Yikes!” to Drew Barrymore crossing the picket line to restart her talk show (and losing some hosting gigs in the process) and to the continued fallout of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher in light of Danny Masterson’s 30 year sentence. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "1942" by BRE-Z, MIZ

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Si & Veronica are coming off of a long weekend for episode 281! Serena and Joe made it official… again! This time with a beautiful reception and ceremony officiated by Wells in Charleston. Andrew Spencer hard launched his model girlfriend there. Meanwhile, Rodney hard launched his girlfriend on Instagram. A much different launch also happened this past week with the reveal of the 22 contestants going for Gerry’s heart! They include Patty, Matt James’ mom! In other reality tv news, Carl and Lindsay from Summer House have called off their engagement just a few months before they were supposed to say “I do” in Mexico.

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We lost some music faves this past week with the death of Jimmy Buffett and of Steve Harwell of Smash Mouth. The Beyonce birthday concert was full of celebrities, including Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet making their relationship known. The five main guys of late night have joined forces to create “Strike Force 5,” which is a podcast that will have all proceeds going to their respective writing staff during the strike. Vee went “Yikes!” to reports of Joe Jonas filing for divorce from Sophie Turner and to Hulu canceling “How I Met Your Father” with no answer in sight. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "BOTH" by Tiësto, 21 Savage, BIA

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Si & Veronica are getting a quick rest this off-season with episode 280! Former bachelorette fave Hannah Brown has given out her final rose to longtime bf Adam Woolard as they got engaged this past week. ABC is teasing the cast of Gerry’s golden journey for love this week. Meanwhile, we know that the day one cast of Bachelor in Paradise will include a lot of Charity and Zach’s season and some from Michelle and Clayton’s seasons. Who will be the new king and queen of the beach? Former contestant of Kaitlyn’s season had his account hacked and the hacker made a post saying he was dead after succumbing to mental health issues. Why is making jokes about low level influencers being dead a new trend? 

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The Barbie Movie is on track to be the highest grossing movie of the year and already has topped Warner Bros. personal chart. Pete Davidson is back on the market but is taking some time to take care of his mental health. Kelis and Bill Murray are also both back single and ready to mingle after their two month tryst. We saw this coming… but “The Idol” was canceled after having a shortened first season. The iconic early aughts trio of Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, and Nelly Furtado are bringing us a new bop this week. Vee went “Yikes!” to another fallen Disney star as Mitchell Musso was arrested for intoxication and theft of some chips. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "City Boys" by Burna Boy

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Si & Veronica are finalizing this season in Fiji for episode 279! We got three hours of bouncing between the live studio audience and Charity’s final days in Fiji that started with Aaron’s half-assed final date and what seemed to be an ad spot for Fiji Airways. After Charity ditches him and we know he is going to Paradise, Charity’s family puts the final two men to the test. Charity wants her mom to make her decision for her, but we can tell that Dotun is the one from how upset Charity gets that her family doesn’t get immediately jazzed like they did for Joey. After a heartbreaking end for Joey, Charity and Dotun seal the deal with their emotional engagement and make their entrance to the live audience as a couple for the first time. They get a trip to Greece and Charity will be on the next season of “Dancing With The Stars.” Throughout the live show, Jesse has awkwardly been interviewing female audience members to see who will end up on the Bachelor season and the first girl he interviewed, Leah, gets brought up to meet our new Bachelor, Joey! What twist is held in the mysterious envelope Jesse gave her? In other news, baby voice Krystal is married and Dylan Barbour and Hannah Godwin will be when this episode comes out. 

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Taylor Swift might be joining the Marvel world as Dazzler in the new Deadpool movie. It helps when you’re besties with the wife of the star. Former child stars, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Ariana Grande, will all be releasing music this Friday. Vee went “Yikes!” to the pending divorce of Britney Spears and Sam Asghari (there has to be a deeper story there) and to Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande dropping Scooter Braun as a manager within the same day or two. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• “Lipstick” by Charlie Puth

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Si & Veronica are booked and busy for episode 278! Per Jesse Palmer’s request, the dudes are back and spilled some tea about the 20th season of the Bachelorette. As much as they complained about the season being the Brayden Show, they sort of made the Men Tell All about him as well. Brayden gets the hot seat to explain himself and he does own up to some of his foot in mouth moments and we got a sneak peek of how well he does on Paradise. Xavier is our heartbroken knitter for this episode and his montage did him no favors. He attempted to get ahead of his backlash by apologizing for several things and even gave Charity a knitted rose. A strange moment for the show was when the guys had to fess up to their cyberbullying of the new Pilot Peter with their “FP” code on their initial promo posts. We got a heavy dose of our Golden Bachelor Gerry and the sob story that led him to wanting to find a new love. Trista, Desiree, and DeAnna come on to share a tiny couch with Charity and give her advice… even though DeAnna is in the midst of her divorce. In other Bachelor Nation News, Nick Viall and his fiance Natalie are expecting a baby. Noah Erb and Abigail Herbinger add to the success rate of Bachelor in Paradise by announcing their engagement. 

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Wayne Brady came out as pansexual this past week. Tory Lanez has been sentenced to 10 years of jail time for shooting Megan Thee Stallion. The New Girl and a Property Brother are engaged! Taylor Swift announced the date for her much anticipated rerelease of her 1989 album. Vee went “Yikes!” to Michael Oher of “The Blind Side” fame alleging that his adoptive “parents” actually had him in a conservatorship to make millions off of his story. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "With You" by AP Dhillon

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Si & Veronica are taking that long journey for episode 277! Charity and crew made it to Fiji for the artist formerly known as Fantasy Suite week. Xavier finally revealed to Charity that he cheated on his ex. She asked if he had doubts about how he would be in their relationship and he couldn’t give her a straight answer so he went straight home. Joey and Charity’s ATV died on their date but their love for each other only grew stronger as they resolved any weird feelings from hometowns and said they both loved each other. Dotun remained the golden boy as their entire date went off without a hitch and they seemingly had an amazing night together as well. But, Aaron couldn’t let go of how Charity seemed unsure about sending him home and travels all the way to Fiji to confront her. In other Bachelor Nation news, Gabby Windey is booed up and it is with a girl! Kaitlyn Bristowe and Jason Tartick officially ended their engagement with a joint statement on social media. Nick Viall said that Tom Sandoval brought a picture of Raquel/Rachel to Special Forces filming. There might be some more Love Is Blind and Bachelor crossover with Micah and Justin Glaze.

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Lizzo is trying to clear her name amidst the lawsuit drama and more details just keep adding confusion to the case. Leo might be hanging with girls over the age of 25 on his recent romp through Europe. Natalie Portman and her husband are splitting after 11 years amidst rumors of him having an affair. Vee laughed and went “Yikes!” to the crazy virality of the Montgomery Riverfront Brawl. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Old Pain" by SHASHI

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Si & Veronica are going home for episode 276! It’s hometowns week and it feels like we barely know these men! Aaron B. was up first and introduced Charity to Houston and his family. She couldn’t say she would 100% be ready to marry him to his mom, but he says how he’s falling in love with her whilst at his high school football field. Next up was Joey in Pennsylvania, even though Hawaii would’ve been way cooler. Joey showed Charity the tennis ropes and got surprised by his uncle lurking around the courts to see how they vibe. Uncle Joe is worried that Joey is just trying to be whatever Charity wants and not his real self. Xavier had the third hometown slot and took Charity to a knitting class. He also says how he is falling in love with her and seemed to make up for lost ground. Best for last was our #1 boy Dotun in Fresno, California. He introduced Charity to his grandma and siblings and aunties and then his parents surprised them fresh off the plane from Nigeria and welcomed Charity with open arms. Charity struggles to make a decision as she is falling for all four guys but ultimately Aaron B. gets the boot since you can only hang on to a great first date for so long. In other Bachelor Nation news, Nick Viall and Tyler Cameron will join Tom Sandoval and other stars for the second season of “Special Forces.” Breakup Watch is reengaged for Kaitlyn Bristowe and Jason Tartick as she has posted some recent ringless pics.  

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Quick hits this week are full of the sads with three pop culture deaths. Sinead O’Connor died at age 56, Paul Reubens (known best as Pee-wee Herman) at age 70, and Angus Cloud of “Euphoria” fame at age 25 all within the past week. Rest in peace to all of them and much love and strength to their family and friends. Taylor Swift may be teaming up with the “Succession” screenwriter to make a series inspired by her exes. Vee went “Yikes!” to Cardi B throwing a mic back at a fan throwing a drink at her and to Lizzo getting served a lawsuit by her former dancers claiming she forced them to engage with a sex show in Amsterdam and created a hostile work environment. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "MODERN JAM" by Travis Scott, Teezo Touchdown

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Si & Veronica aren’t taking it easy for Episode 275! Charity and crew have made it to New Orleans for what has become a very speedy season. Hometowns are next week and on the minds of all the men. Joey got the first one-on-one of the week and they did a little tour around the streets of NOLA and received a little poem about their love story and a tarot reading. Joey is the first man to say he is falling in love with Charity and the first rose that solidified his spot for hometowns next week. Producers must really be racing because we got the most anticlimactic two-on-one with Sean and Tanner that results in no rose and Sean starting his “wait until my father hears about this!” level spiral. Meanwhile, Aaron B. is getting pissed that he, as a seven year resident of NOLA, isn’t getting the second one-on-one, but Dotun is. Dotun and Charity “run” a half marathon together and then he tells her how he is falling in love with her too. He currently seems like the one to beat. Charity planned to recycle both Sean and Tanner for the remaining group date but Sean tried to plead his case at her hotel room and she sent him home. This is the week of Charity not giving out roses on dates because for the group date she only gives one rose and lets the other one wait for what was supposed to be a mini rose ceremony. Even though Xavier expressed worries about marriage, Tanner is still too far behind the pack and Charity sends him home. In other Bach Nation news, Gabby Windey might be soft launching a new boo. Raven and Adam welcomed their second child this week. Some breakup rumors are swirling around Greg and Victoria and Michael A. and Danielle. 

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Tom Brady has moved on from one model to another with Irina Shayk. Ariana Grande might be homewrecking the marriage of her co-star Ethan Slater as there are rumors her and Ethan are dating. Vee went “Yikes!” to Elon Musk changing the name of Twitter to “X”. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Love Like This" by ZAYN

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Si & Veronica are on Sasquatch watch for episode 274! Charity and her crew are in the mountains in Washington for a cinematic week of dates. Dotun and her conquer some fears by bungee jumping from the tallest bridge in North America. Meanwhile, back at the house the dudes are starting back up their beef with Brayden and how he views the process. For the group date, the men are put to the test by some young girl “scouts” (aka child actors in sashes with fake badges) to see who has good survival skills. For some reason, Aaron B. wins the extra time at the kissing tree… and that reason is probably just to amp up the drama between him and Brayden that explodes during the after party. The producers worked overtime this week to get Charity to overhear the juicy parts of the argument that leads to her taking Brayden to the side and him going home because inherently they aren’t on the same page with where things will end. Xavier got the second one-on-one of the week and they went to a fruit festival. He proves that he is more than surface level compliments and isn’t like her ex. All the dudes are lulled into a false sense of security for the cocktail party until Brayden flip-flops through the woods to apologize one last time to Charity before getting berated by Aaron B. again. Will other past flames show up during the rest of the season? Gerry Turner has been revealed as the 71-year-old Golden Bachelor. A couple Bachelor Nation folks are expecting: Clare Crawley and her husband via surrogate, and Shawn Booth and some mystery woman. 

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Lindsay Lohan has welcomed her son this past week. It is divorce season with Ariana Grande and her hubby Dalton Gomez along with Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello heading for splitsville. Gigi Hadid got briefly arrested for having weed on her as she headed to her Cayman Islands vacay. Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods have been spotted back together. Vee went “Yikes!” to Miranda Lambert stopping her concert and calling out fans taking a selfie in the first row. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Drink Water" Jon Bariste ft. Jon Bellion, Fireboy DML

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Si & Veronica are feeling like they can do anything with Barbie for episode 273! Charity takes the boys to Oceanside, Ca. for this week of dates and starts off by giving Brayden the VIP treatment with a helicopter ride and one-on-one date in the Padres ballpark. He lived out his childhood fantasies as a fan, but isn’t buying into the whole engagement fantasy just yet. Jojo and Jordan help host a Barbie and Ken themed date where all the men tried their best to sing for Charity’s heart. Dotun was the dark horse to get the group date rose, but the darkest horse was Warwick getting a one-on-one. The “big kid” date to Belmont Park proved that Warwick was really only a pretty face to Charity as no sparks flew and he was sent home. Aaron B. breaks the top Bachelor Nation rule by talking about another contestant during his cocktail party conversation with Charity. Brayden is the biggest threat in the house right now and Aaron can’t keep his name out of his mouth to try to protect Charity, but both get to stay another week. Katie Thurston will be one of the leads on the new season of FBoy Island. We got two couples from BIP Canada season two, including Chelsea Vaughn (Matt James’ season) and Austin Tinsley (Katie’s season). 

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Logan Paul proposed to his model gf, Nina Agdal. Britney Spears got smacked by Spurs player security guard and her team is pressing charges. Threads has hit the social media scene, and Elon Musk and the Twitter legal team aren’t too happy about it. Will Threads have staying power? Veronica went “Yikes!” to the collective internet outrage around Keke Palmer’s baby daddy shaming her hot outfit and Jonah Hill’s ex posting their text messages of his version of controlling “boundaries”. Join us for what is always a good time and leave us a rating and review for a shoutout! Follow us @thefuturebachelor on Instagram! Thanks to you all who have subscribed!

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For fun, great music updated weekly, follow FUTURE BACHELOR on Spotify!

***SLAPPER OF THE WEEK***

• "Show Me" by NIALL SULLIVAN ft. Eddy I.

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